Background info:
We are planning to have a full buffet dinner for our guests to begin shortly after the end of the ceremony. Ceremony taking place outside of reception site. However, I do not like eating in front of people, nor do I care to hear the clinking of glasses or want to kiss my husband with a mouth full of food. Instead, the bridal party will take some pictures after the ceremony and then go to the hotel to get ready for the dance. FYI - we’re having a Halloween party/reception, so we may be changing into some sort of costume (ie. Dracula/Mina, Phantom of the Opera/Christine, Frankenstein/Bride of Frank., etc). We’ll also have food/drinks for us in the rooms.
Question:
How do I word the dinner on the invite? Can I still put “dinner/drinks 5pm, dance 7pm”, or should I somehow state that it is an informal dinner? I don’t think it should really matter, but I wouldn’t want guests to be waiting for us to arrive in order to eat, when we won’t be arriving for that. I know my family would tell everyone to just help themselves at the dinner, but I don’t want them to feel as though they have to monitor and “coordinate” the meal. We just want it so everyone eats/drinks at their leisure while they wait for the “party” to begin.
Advice would be greatly appreciated. Comments on the Halloween party are unneccessary and unrelated to how to answer. And sorry if this was rather long winded.
I feel I should clarify. We originally only wanted to provide appetizers for the cocktail hour while we were taking photos and changing. My mother insists guests should be given a meal. This is really only a way to please my mother and keep guests occupied while we are getting ready. Many weddings have a t hr wait with nothing in between ceremony and reception. We didn't want that. This is in no way to be selfish, but to keep guests from being bored for 2 hrs. Should we make them wait, doing nothing for two hours, and then begin the meal? Would this seem more appropriate?
I meant to say "many weddings have a 2 hr wait"
Also, I feel the wedding ceremony is about "us". But the reception is about thanking our guests for joining us. We are not doing toasts or anything else that makes the party only about "us". We just want to hang out with all our family/friends/coworkers and have a good time. Our reception is not going to be the "normal" stuffy, traditional, by the books event. No toasts, no bouquet/garter toss, no mother-father/son-mother dances. We just want to arrive to the reception, cut the cake, and start enjoying the time with everyone.
Can you honestly say you enjoyed sitting at a reception for an hour or two, watching people eat, listening to several speeches, watching several dances only involving certain people, only then to get to mingle?
Blossomo - never did I say anything about my guests eating/drinking being offensive. The reference to clinking glasses is in regards to when guests do that to make the bride/groom kiss.
My whole reason for this meal is to please my guests, not offend them. I just don't want them to have any wait from the ceremony to the reception.